Sunday, December 27, 2009

Falling into History

Over the past four days, I've packed in about 30 hours of work. It was incredibly exhausting and chaotic. My Christmas was just like any other day, maybe even worse due to a six-hour shift at work and other issues that have popped up. I got one present. My ex-best friend dropped by for a surprise visit. She gave me a beautiful headband from Urban Outfitters in hopes of mending our broken friendship. We caught up on each others' lives. Despite what happened in the past, I must admit I do miss her, or well the idea of her: someone to confide in on matters of just about everything (love, family, fashion, etc.) who isn't Robert; but it's hard to open myself again. Each time we try to be friends again, we just end up making our scars deeper and darker. Maybe this time will be different...only time will tell.

(On Saturday, this is what I woke up to. This was taken from my window. I really wish I had brought my camera with me on the way to the bus stop. That morning sky is etched into my mind now..)

Yesterday and today, I had to wake up at 7am to get on the bus for work. The morning sky yesterday was just breathtaking. If I didn't have to rush to get ready, I would've taken better photos. I haven't been awake that early in the morning in so long. It was so...tranquil and still, like water before a dive. I really must do it more often. The cold mist slapped me in the face, but it was so refreshing. I really do have so much to think about, but I hate confrontations, even (or especially) with myself. It's just easier (at least for a while) to shove the problem under my bed, and deal with it later...I just wish I had someone other than Robert who I could just talk to for a whole day about anything and everything, but talking about my petty problems won't make them go away.

For now though, I'm going to enjoy the rest of winter break (my last week!) and deal with everything later. Robert and I have big plans for this week: watch Sherlock Holmes and It's Complicated; shop, shop, shop; go to L.A. finally; and just enjoy the fleeting moments of relaxation (and 2009!) before another hectic quarter is upon us.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas weekend! There will be a better post tomorrow, I promise.

Until next post,

PS. I think for more personal posts like this I'm going to disable comments...You are free to drop me an email though!