Thursday, May 31, 2012

DD: Summer Fruit













Jen and I actually decided to order this dress way back in March, but for some reason, I had the hardest time figuring out how to wear it. I eventually just went to my go-to styling for a dress: these shoes, this yellow belt, and a cardigan. I think I like the dress better as a skirt, so I can't wait to layer cropped sweaters over it when Fall starts rolling around. I'm pretty sure though if I had some peachy, orange wedges, it would've been less of a problem! Jen and I finally had a Skype date yesterday morning. Even though we email and text frequently, talking to her face to face was wonderful; but it made me miss her so much more than I already did. It's always so easy talking to her about everything and anything. Our conversation topics ranged from canned milk tea, to work, to boys, and to future dreams. In between the Summer session and school starting in the Fall, I'm hoping to make a trip out to see her, maybe for NYFW again. She's definitely one of the few friends that I'd fly across the country to visit. I love that we have our Dynamic Duo series to keep us connected, but I love more the fact that we don't need matching clothes to be close.

PS. Thank you all for your kind comments and emails on my last post regarding my break-up with Robert. I was pretty nervous about being so open and vulnerable, but you all are the sweetest. 

Until next post,
Jasmine
my outfit:
dress - asos
belt - gap
cardigan - gap
shoes - swedish hasbeens x h&m

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Letting Go, For Now


This post has been sitting as a draft for weeks now. I didn't think I'd ever finish writing it, let alone actually publish it (well I'm trying to convince myself with each additional word I write). But Tieka's recent post, and the positive and supportive response she received from her readers has given me the strength and courage to be a little more vulnerable than usual here. I've also had such a great support system around me. I have the best friends in real life and here in the blogging world. Like Tieka, I am naturally a cheerful person and so my blog posts too tend to be cheery. So what I'm about to say will probably come as a shock to those of who don't already know.

Robert and I broke up in February, a few days after our 5th anniversary. But we still hung out afterwards, trying to figure things out and make things work--which explains why recently I've posted pictures of us going to the beach and other places. I'm thankful to have had those wonderful moments with him to look back on because I think some of those days were the best we've ever had. I think I needed that extra time to reassure myself that it was the right decision for us, and to accept that there'd be no more Jasmine-and-Robert anymore. But for now, it's all over. I'm just Jasmine now. And I'm okay with it. Really.

It has been a long time coming actually. Months prior to the break up, I had been feeling a little suffocated, and he had been feeling a little neglected. I wanted to spread my wings, and be a little more independent. I reconnected with my friends, and it was hard balancing everything, especially in the Fall and Winter with school, work, and applications all going on too. Resentful feelings had built between the two of us, and in the end, we just realized we weren't making each other as happy as we used to. We didn't even fight about it. The break up was truly mutual. Since the break up, we've toyed with the idea of getting back together, but I think we were just trying to hold on to something that just isn't there anymore--the passion and need for each other. I think we've outgrown each other. We're just not the same people we fell in love with in high school. I can't be that girl anymore, and I don't want to be--just as I can't expect him to be that same guy he was five years ago. For now, I just want to immerse myself into graduate school and my career, and to be honest, I just want to be selfish for once. I want to do what I want, when I want to, and with who I want to. I want to be single, not so I can date other people, but so I can learn to be and to love myself again. I feel like in the years we've been together, I've lost a lot of myself and I didn't really like the person I had become either. But I'm slowly getting me back. I'm glad we can part amicably and as friends. I'm also relieved that I don't regret our relationship, and I will be forever grateful for all that he has done for me. He was there for me when I needed it most. I know we'll still be friends because he's become my best friend over the years, but it's definitely time for me to walk on my own two feet again.

He'll be going to the University of Hawaii for a second bachelor's in Computer Science in the Fall, and I have decided to go to UCI, which starts in a few weeks actually. I'm sure we'll hang out a few more times before he leaves, but I'm so happy that we're both following our dreams. It just seems like everything is falling into place and has happened for a reason. I usually don't like change, and yet I can't help be a little excited that my life is going to change drastically from all of this. I'm going to be single for really the first time, and I'm going to be a grad student. One thing I hope won't change is Transient Withdrawal. Even though Robert took my photos, I've been getting better at self-portraits so bear with me until I get into that new routine. I'm excited for the new adventures that are coming my way, and I hope that you all will stay and experience them with me!

Until next post,
Jasmine

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Runaway









This is probably now my favorite top in my entire closet right now. It's my favorite color. I love the tulip sleeves and the buttons down the back. I wore this top to visit my brother at school and to take my mom to see a Chinese opera (my mother's day gift to her). My brother said it made me look like mint chocolate chip ice cream. I took it as a compliment. Seeing the opera was not fun. I didn't understand what was going on because it was in Cantonese, and it was just loud and irritating. Enduring three hours of it just shows how much I love my mom. I'm glad she had fun though, but I think next year I'll take her to see a musical that we both can enjoy.

I recreated that look and took these pictures a few days later by myself. I always seem to attract creepy men when I'm out taking self portraits. On this day, there was a man holding a baby chick walking around this park. I thought we would just ignore each other like normal people, but he approached me and asked if he could watch me take pictures of myself. I told him I was just finishing up (even though I wasn't). He then asked if I was into photography, and I had my ready-made-lie of me taking a few photo classes just for fun. He then asked if I had any pictures of myself in a bathing suit, and that's when I said I was done and packed up my things and got out of there. My blogging life just isn't glamorous at all.

Until next post,
Jasmine
top - francesca's collections
skirt - j. crew
belt - gap
loafers - aldo
ring - jewelmint

Monday, May 21, 2012

Whole Heartedly





 


Lately, I've been feeling like I've been doing everything half-heartedly: work, school, dieting, blogging, and my relationships. I'm getting nowhere this way. I must admit I rarely give my all to something because I'm so much more afraid of success than I am of failure. I'm kind of used to failure. I am a pessimistic, cup-half-empty kinda person. But last year, I found myself actually throwing myself into the things that I cared about, which resulted in me losing 25 pounds and finding a job and career that I truly love. On Friday, I was accepted by the other grad school I had applied to--UCI, which is ranked a lot higher than CSUF!

I went to UCI as an undergrad, and I know I didn't give it my all when I was there: I didn't really go to class, and I didn't really get involved in any clubs or with many people. I just didn't care because I didn't really like my major. As I've said before, I stumbled into teaching my last quarters as an undergrad. Once I found that passion in my life, everything changed. My life became more focused and purposeful. I decided to graduate early a year early, and have been working hard these past two years to make up for those awful three years as an undergraduate. To be given this second chance at UCI makes all those hard days at work, and 10-hour days of working and going to school so worth it! This reminder of all the hard work I've put in has woken me up from my old habit of doing things half-heartedly.

Now I'm not sure which school I will choose as I have to look into the programs more closely, but what I do know is that I'm going to try to do things more whole-heartedly.

Until next post,
Jasmine
striped top - thrifted
sailboat skirt - francesca's collections
belt - topshop
loafers - aldo
sunglasses - raybans
watch - nordstroms

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Simple Love









As the days get hotter and longer, my outfits seem to get simpler. This is especially true over the weekends. This outfit worked out perfectly for a Saturday of catching "Freaky Friday" on TV, grabbing Japanese food for lunch, and shopping at Fashion Island. I wore a similar outfit to spend the day with my family for Mother's Day. We took her out for shaved ice and good Chinese food. This bracelet, which is part of a set of three, is my new favorite to pair with my watch. I used to hate having things on my wrist, but a watch has become a necessity for me at work so why not add a little something extra to it? Like with most things in my closet, I like my accessories to be simple--mostly because they tend to annoy me through out the day. One of my car's cupholders is usually filled with accessories that I take off through out the day.

Hope you're all having a lovely week so far! Today is our talent show at work. It's going to be chaotic, but for all the funny moments that are bound to happen, I think it'll be worth it!

Until next post,
Jasmine
t-shirt - h&m
shorts - h&m
belt - gap
sandals - h&m
sunglasses - raybans
watch - nordstroms
bracelet - jewelmint

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Colorless





I rarely wear such a neutral outfit. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know I love to wear the colors and prints, especially red and stripes. However, I am guilty of letting my mood effect how I dress (well who isn't honestly?). And so this outfit reflects my feelings of nostalgia, inadequacy, and uneasiness. My emotions and my mind have been stretched so thinly lately that it's been a little hard to be creative with my closet. I'm not sure if I'm willing or ready to share something so personal here. I've even debated quitting blogging recently since I just couldn't seem to get out of my own head long enough to post. However, at this time, when a lot of things in my life are about to change in the Fall, I know that I want to continue blogging because it's been one of the few constants over the past 2+ years.

Until next post,
Jasmine
dress - cotton on
cardigan - american vintage (via rue la la)
belt - gap
loafers - charlotte russe
necklace - foreign exchange

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Summer 2012 Inspiration











I always find myself looking through Tumblr or through my favorite blogs more than usual when I'm in a rut. I'm hoping these photos will kick me out of this rut. I have a lot on my mind right now and it's hard to be creative with your clothes (or anything really for that matter) when you have so many thoughts clouding your mind.

Until next post,
Jasmine
photo sources:
1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10

Monday, May 07, 2012

Endless Love


 



Sometimes you have those weekends that you wish would never end. This past weekend was such a weekend. My friends and I went hiking on Saturday morning. It was so nice to be surrounded by nature for a few hours and leave all our worries behind with each and every step bringing us deeper into the mountain. Afterwards, we lounged around the pool in the afternoon, and later that night, we watched "A Dangerous Method." On Sunday, we had a relaxing beach day: reading, chatting, and playing Monopoly Deal. After a week of gloomy skies and wearing t-shirts and jeans, I'm trying to get back into the swing of blogging. I figured that a light denim skirt is a baby step towards the right direction.

What did you all do over the weekend?

Until next post,
Jasmine
top - forever 21
skirt - cotton on
belt - charlotte russe
flats - gap