Sunday, March 11, 2012

Renewal of a Vow

I don't know what it is about Sunday afternoons that make me reflect and contemplate my life, but it just seems the best time to do such things.

Over a year ago, I began my weight loss journey on February 1, 2011. A little more than a year later, I've lost 25 pounds, but I have lost 0 pounds since last Summer. I have recently lost the holiday weight I gained though! I've since plateaued for a long while now, and I feel like I'm back to where I started mentally and emotionally--breaking down in dressing rooms and in front of my own closet, and mostly feeling uncomfortable with myself. This whole journey was never about looking good, rather it's been about feeling comfortable in my own skin. It's kind of hard to keep that in mind when running a personal style blog. Though I'm more comfortable than I was last year, I still have so many issues behind-the-scenes of this blog and my cheerful exterior. Through out these stressful months, I reverted back to the habits of comfort eating and self-pity, but I renewed my weight loss goal today (like an hour ago according to Twitter). But just like last year, something in me has snapped again this past week, and I cannot stand being in this body anymore. I tried for so long to convince myself to just accept me as I am, but I know in my heart of hearts that I'm in the wrong body (and that complacency will get me nowhere). I'm declaring it today that my goal for this Spring season is to be able to wear single-sized clothing. If I can lose another 25 pounds this Spring, I'd just be 10 pounds away from my goal weight. Now that my fieldwork is over, I am more determined than ever to finish this journey so that I can begin a new one as a healthier and happier me. With my first graduate school interview this Tuesday, I have so many things to look forward to and I do not want to get in the way of myself anymore.

If you're interested, you can read more about my weight loss journey in this post that I wrote last year.

Until next post,