Singularity

What better way to celebrate being single than with crazy tribal pants? Valentine's Day didn't make me any more aware of my singleness because I've been relishing in it lately. At this time in my life when I have more friends who are either engaged or in serious relationships than single ones, I've made the conscious choice to stop online dating (those stories will be saved for another day) and to just be guitlessly selfish, because I can. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for those friends, but I just feel like your mid-twenties is such a messy, awkward, and fun time in your life that no one really writes songs or stories about. And I don't want to miss any moment of it. It's like being in high school again--being unsure of yourself, figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to do--except this time around, you can drink and you sorta have money to travel. All the while, you're starting a career that might not be the right choice, paying off loans for said maybe right choice, and trying to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. I just think that we're married for a lot longer than we are single, so love and marriage can and should wait for me to grow up a bit more.

Until next post,
Jasmine

top - foreign exchange

pants - g-stage

boots - nordstrom rack

watch - nordstrom 

accessories -  nordstrom, target, urban outfitters, 

charming charlie, brandy melville, jewelmint

Didn't Know I Was Lost

Fresh starts aren't limited to just the new year--they can happen any day and everyday. For a greater part of January, I let dark thoughts eat away at my zeal for life. I started questioning my career choice and who I was--the typical quarter life crisis symptoms. It wasn't until two weeks ago while standing in a dressing room in a dress that was too small for me that I realized that I needed to take my life back and stop giving other people, especially those who hurt me, the power to control my life and my emotions. I was out of excuses for myself, and so I started taking better care of myself: running/hiking more frequently, eating better foods, putting more thought in my outfits, and learning to say no. I feel like I'm slowly getting myself back together, and I'm becoming the person I want to be. Maybe it's because I was in such a dark place mentally, but I've taken a recent liking to all things black and grey.

I spent part of last weekend exploring The Orange Circle with an old friend, Tina. We got coffee inside of a bank and passed by some cute little shops. Next to a Starbucks, we stumbled upon this little grungey gem of an alley and met a poet who was taking his head shots there. It felt nice to feel like I was someplace else for a little while, even though we were still in sunny Orange County. 

Until next post,
Jasmine

photos by tina

Everything has Changed

The start of a new year always brings about reflection of the past and hopes for the future. 2013 was definitely the best year of my life, and I'm pretty bummed that it wasn't documented here on my blog. I graduated, found a job in Orange County, went to Disneyland over 20 times, explored LA and San Diego, started dating casually, dyed my hair brown, got a smart phone, went horseback riding, and had some of the best nights of my life. I feel like 2013 was a process--a process of rediscovering who I am, of starting my career, and of rebuilding my home base by reconnecting with and making new friends--and now that I've done all that, I just know that 2014 will be my year to just...be. To be me!

I was shopping with a friend the other day when I stumbled upon a brightly colored, sailboat printed top. I held it up and thought to myself, "A year ago, I probably would've bought this in a heartbeat." My friend thought the same and then commented just how much my style has changed over the past year. And it was then that I realized that it has changed for the better because I feel that I've changed for the better. I've traded in the peter pan collars, polka dots, bows, and sailboats for speckled knits, slouchy beanies, and ankle boots. I feel like the first half of the year was spent trying to look like how I should look being in grad school, and now I dress for me. After spending a year to find my footing, I have felt a void of creativity, and I've truly missed blogging and photography. You always have time for what you put first, so I think it's time to put myself first more this upcoming year. Every year I make resolutions (and I think I did pretty good on the ones I made last year), but I think this year I just want to stick to one...to just be better and happier than I was last year.

Here's to a new year full of new adventures!

Until next post,
Jasmine

photos by marilyn

Good To Be Alive

I'm pretty sure my friends and you are sick of seeing me in this denim jacket, but I can't help that it goes with everything! I can't help that it was also the perfect outerwear for Sunday's trip to Disneyland. My friend, Andrea, and I found this Wilderness Explorer Park that reminded me of Central Park in the bustling city of New York, because in the midst of all the craziness of Disneyland, you can come here for some peace and quiet. And if I'm lucky, someday I'll get to meet Russell from UP! It's on my Disneyland Bucket List to get a picture with him. While taking these pictures for me, my friend Andrea commented at how confident I seemed while having my pictures taken. This idea of having confidence, and enough of it where it's noticeable, is new to me, and I've been wondering since Sunday if I actually really have it or if I've just become comfortable in front of a camera after blogging for 3+ years. It's probably a little bit of both. Over the weekend, I remembered just how great my life is, and it wasn't just because I was at Disneyland, but it was also because I have so much to look forward to. Because I'm normally a half-empty kinda girl, it's so easy, especially when I'm stressed, to look past the good things that are happening and focus only on the work to be done or the things that aren't happening or should be happening. On Friday, I received the details of my next student teaching placement that begins in April. I'll be at the same school, but I'll be in a first grade classroom! I'm so excited because that means I can still see my third graders and because I love the school I'm at. Friday was also my last official day with my third graders, but I'm going in an extra week because I adore them so much. They surprised me with this huge gift basket, where they donated supplies for my future classroom. I am seriously so blessed. As crazy as this year has been, it has easily been the best year of my life! It's crazy that graduation is in 50-something days.

Life is only just beginning.

Until next post,
Jasmine

jacket - gap

jeans - gap

shirt - nordstrom

shoes - reflection

necklaces - forever 21

watch - jewelment

photos by andrea

The Best Studying Outfit

This sweater has been my best friend all throughout Winter Quarter. When I felt yucky and didn't want to wear nice clothes, it was there for me. When I ate too much the day before, it was there for me. It is the perfect amount of coziness and slouchiness without being too thick and loose that it could've suffocated or drowned me. It has become especially handy at keeping me company as I'm finishing up this quarter and my Teaching Event project. I've worn this outfit to fieldwork, to class, to many study sessions, and recently to grabbing dinner and shopping with a friend on Friday night. Even though I felt like I was constantly running late yesterday with the time change, when it finally got to 6PM and it was still bright out, I remembered just how much I adore this time of year! I love getting off of class/work and feeling that there's still time to play, and wanting to squeeze out the last bit of sunshine. Spring is pretty much here, and I'm sure you'll be glad to hear this--but I'm finally wearing dresses and skirts (aka looking like a girl) again! I broke my jean binge over the weekend when I celebrated my fieldwork partner's 25th birthday at her tea party. While I'm still not quite sure what my style is, I'm starting to have fun with clothes again, and in turn, I've been more excited to blog. I don't even think I want to ever get to a point where I or my style can be labeled. I never took fashion seriously so why should I start now?

Until next post,
Jasmine

denim jacket - gap

sweater - forever 21

jeans - gap

shoes - aldo

watch - jewelmint

necklace - bcbg

Adventure is out there

After ditching a Friday afternoon class and taking a two-hour long lunch with two friends instead, I got home itching to go to the beach. I was on my bed, five minutes into endlessly scrolling through Tumblr when I just thought to myself--why not? It was a beautiful 85 degree day and I couldn't think of any reasons not to, so I just did. By myself. And it was just what I needed. For an hour and a half, I was in my own little world--no students needing my help, no assignments to worry about, no papers to grade, no one to answer to. It was just little ole me. As soon as my toes touched the sand and my nose filled with the salty air, I could just feel my stress melt away as I got closer and closer to the water. I forgot how small the ocean makes me feel. I'm not even really sure what I thought about. I think my consciousness came in and out like the waves. I probably thought about what a whirlwind the past seven months have been. How everything is happening just like it's supposed to. That this definitely would not be the last beach trip I took by myself. That hopefully in the Fall I'm teaching somewhere where I'm still close to the beach. How my favorite outfit will always be a v-neck t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a hodgepodge of accessories.

And how perspective changes everything. And how some of mine really needed adjusting if I want to be happier. I especially need to break my horrible habit of measuring my self worth by comparing myself to other people and what they have or what they are doing. There will always be someone better than you. All you can really do is focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself. As much as I've embraced change that has come my way this year, I don't think I've actively taken it upon myself to change--to be better, to get back on my weight loss journey, to be less stubborn, to worry less, etc. It's so easy to ride on the high of change, but after a while, the change becomes the new normal. What then? I won't wait for another five year relationship to go awry as my opportunity and catalyst for change. I want to be better and for my own sake, I will be.

Until next post,
Jasmine

Just Give Me a Reason

I'm back--with brighter jeans and an old pair of oxfords! I can't say that my blog posts won't continue to be spotty over the next month, but I don't think I'm quite ready to say goodbye to the ole blog quite yet. Even after three years, it still continues to be my escape from life and my outlet for creative expression. That is not to say that there hasn't been an uncomfortable and unspoken pressure to maintain a certain kind of and level of content, which is why I felt the need to step away for a while. Nicole said it best in her most recent post: Blogging makes me care about things that I normally wouldn't care about. Because in real life, does it matter how my clothes will photograph? Does it matter that I don't have a boyfriend to take flattering, editorial photos for me? Or that I don't live in a place that has cool backdrops for a post? Does it matter that I wore jeans in my last post? No! Because I actually love where I live. Because I buy clothes for how they feel and fit, not how they photograph. Because I am enjoying being single right now. And because jeans are just what I want to wear everyday. I needed to remind myself that this is just a blog. It should reflect my life, not run it.

With that being said, my life has been crazy busy as of late! As exhausting and draining as student teaching is, it has been absolutely wonderful and so fulfilling. Nearing the end of this placement, I've been doing a lot of reflection of how far we--my students and I--have come since the very first day of school. In a few short weeks, I'm going to have say goodbye to my third graders and hello to a new class to finish out the rest of this school year. To say that I really don't want to leave is an understatement. I've grown so attached to my students that the thought of leaving them just breaks my heart. As part of my credential, I need to complete and pass this monstrous project called the Teaching Event for which I need to plan, write, analyze, reflect, and film myself teach a whole math unit. I started filming my geometry unit on Thursday and my students have just been amazing. I cannot wait until this thing is turned in at the end of March. I'm also just overwhelmed with how quickly time seems to be passing by recently. I only have three weeks left of this quarter, fifteen until I complete my credential, and about twenty until I'm done with this program. My brother is already planning on how he's gonna use my room when I'm gone. I don't even know where I'm going to end up in the Fall and that makes me so anxious. I've been such a hermit this past week--swamped with schoolwork and just thinking a lot about everything--that it was really nice escaping to Disneyland for a few hours yesterday with my friend, Andrea. I wore all my favorite things as of late: colored denim, easy black tops, and this denim jacket.

Until next post,

Jasmine

denim jacket - gap

top - forever 21

jeans - gap

shoes - urban outfitters

headband - forever 21

photos by me and andrea

Lately

I probably sound like a broken record at this point with this being my sixth post in 2013 so far, but I'm sorry I've taken another unexpected break. To be honest, I'm really not sure if/how blogging fits into my life anymore, or rather if/how I fit into the blogging world anymore. Sometimes I can't believe I've been doing this for so long. I guess while I'm at it, I'll have to admit that I've been toying with the idea of quitting my blog lately. Student teaching has taken over my life, and with whatever spare time I have, I've been spending it with friends. I've had a rough couple of weeks--losing confidence in myself and in my abilities. It was the first time I ever doubted if teaching was the right career pick for me. I kept imagining that I was running towards this huge wall that I wouldn't be able to climb over, but I think I'm slowly regaining my teaching mojo back this week.

I still enjoy shopping (maybe a little too much), getting dressed, and using my outfits as a form of expression, but I'm just not the same girl who started this blog. I feel like over the past three years that I've been blogging, I've branded myself to be this simple, girly, casual, color-wearing, California girl. And while I still am a lot of those things, my style has experienced this shift from girly to "hipster" over the past few months. And while there's nothing really wrong with that--in fact, I've been really enjoying my new style lately--I just don't feel right blogging here on Transient Withdrawal not being that original Transient Withdrawal girl who you hopefully still love. I almost feel like an impostor on my blog. Even though this blog has documented my style change from daily wearing bows in my hair to never wearing jeans to now wearing only jeans, I don't think the change has ever been so sudden or contrasting or even this conscious. The other day I went to the bathroom during class, and when I walked past the mirror, I was confused for a bit at who the girl staring back at me was--slouchy beanie, ankle combat boots, skinny jeans, and a loose sweater. When I did start dressing like that hipster who I openly hated but secretly admired? That's the moment I realized just how much I and my style have changed. Honestly, when I first started dressing like a hipster, I thought it was just a phase that came out of my singleness. That maybe for some reason, now that I'm without a man, I needed to start dressing more like one? But it seems to be sticking as I accumulate more slouchy sweaters, a cactus printed shirt, and random accessories. It's a different look to match the different me. It's only natural for my style and my blog to change alongside with me. I feel like I'm just starting to come into my own person, and it's been great rediscovering myself. At the same time, I just feel a little uncomfortable inadvertently inspiring others when I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I was always the student who would never raise her hand unless she was 100% sure she knew the answer, and I guess the same thing is happening here. Like an angsty teen, I'm experimenting and figuring out what my style is: awkwardly becoming this hipster who needs to still look presentable and sophisticated as a student teacher, and who is also starting to wear heels and makeup during girls night outs. Transitions are always awkward. Always.

I'm really not sure what's in store for Transient Withdrawal at this point. I would love for it to still document my growth and change for another 3+ years, but apart from my silly feelings, time is another issue. I haven't taken a proper set outfit pictures of my own since 2012! I actually miss getting that creative time to myself, so I'm hoping that now the sun is still out for a bit after 5PM, I can fit in some outfit shots here and there. I just wanted to pop in and say hi and let you all know where my head is at.

Until next post,
Jasmine

Not the Only One

Why hello there! It's been a while hasn't it? Student teaching four days a week now also means waking up at 6AM four days a week. I just haven't found time in between living life, planning lessons, and grading papers to take pictures of my outfits. But in terms of style, not much has changed anyway--I managed to wear a different sweater and skinny jeans combination everyday this past week. At first when I saw this necklace in the clearance section at Macy's, I chuckled to myself at how ridiculous it was, but then I thought to myself that it would look great with a sweater--and it does, definitely $8 well spent. I am in love with it, and I hope to find more necklaces like it. I've been on a major accessories kick lately, which is good because I definitely don't need anymore clothes and accessories are much cheaper too. Another thing I've been loving lately is wavy hair! I tried this hairstyle for a night out in LA with my friends on Saturday night and it seemed to be a hit because I didn't pay for any of my drinks that night! It's been fun switching up my hair because it's been worn straight down everyday for years. While my style hasn't changed much, I feel like I've changed. It seems that all the little changes that started last year have started to all add up and become noticeable. Things that used to bother me don't really phase me anymore. Overall, I just feel more about ease, free, and happy. I know I've been pretty dead online--here on my blog, on Twitter, and even on Instagram, but I've really just been living my life in the real world. Until I develop a better routine or I go to Disneyland with a friend who's willing to take pictures for me, I think I'm just going to have to post snippets of my outfits like this.

Until next post,
Jasmine

sweater - forever 21

necklace - bcbg from macy's

rings - brandy melville

jeans - gap

shoes - american eagle

Catching Feelings

I concluded my winter break with a trip to Disneyland with Andrea on Sunday. There was a 60% chance of rain that day, but it ended up being a beautiful day and didn't start sprinkling until we were on our way back to the car. The chance of rain must've scared people away because it wasn't too crowded either. Andrea and I were able to snap pictures undisturbed while we were waiting for our fast passes to be valid. We were even able to rest my camera on top of a trash can to take a picture of us in our matching sweaters without fear of it being snatched away, which made me reminisce back to my pre-tripod days when I first started blogging. It was like finding treasure coming across these sweaters at Forever 21 on New Year's Eve. We had went to find something sparkly or festive to wear for a party later on that night, but we both walked out with just these sweaters. Now every time I'm at F21, I'll be searching for Disney things. As soon as I tried the sweater on in the dressing room, I knew I wanted to layer it over a chambray shirt. This was my first time trying that preppy look and I have to admit--I really like this outfit! I still haven't been able to get out of jeans, but now that I've done the whole colored denim thing, I want to try patterned denim. I still regret not buying a pair of polka dotted jeans while I was at the outlet on Black Friday, but I'm sure I'll find another pair soon enough and hopefully just as cheap. Getting back into fieldwork and school has been a slow transition, but getting to see my students four times a week makes having to watch the sun rise Monday through Thursdays worth it.

Until next post,
Jasmine

sweater - forever 21

chambray shirt - madewell

jeans - gap

shoes - american eagle

rings - brandy melville and madison bleu

watch - nordstrom

photos by andrea and me

On Jennifhsieh

I'm guest blogging over at Jen's blog today so head over there to see more of this outfit and see which outfit of Jen's inspired this one!

Until next post,
Jasmine

The Little Things

Sorry things have been a little slow around here. I've just been taking some time off for myself to enjoy the last bit of my winter break. Besides you're not missing much in terms of my outfits. I've really just been living in jeans and boots and sweaters. In between catching up with friends and reconnecting with old ones, I can't help but smile and revel in all the things and people I'm blessed with. And honestly, it's the little things like eating lavender honey ice cream in the middle of winter, or witnessing a gorgeous sunset, or your phone playing the perfect songs during your run, or grabbing pizza with friends at 10:15 at night that make life really worthwhile. I've also been taking some time for myself. I started running again, not necessarily because I want to lose weight (though I do and it'd be a nice side effect), but because I just want to feel better about myself. That resolution goes hand in hand with the others. After a five-hour nap to nurse my first hangover ever from New Year's Eve, I really thought about what I wanted to accomplish this year and ultimately, I just want to be better and happier and that's just what I'm going to do.

My 2013 Resolutions:
1. Be more active: Work out for an hour at least 3 times a week
2. Be more fearless: Change isn't scary, it's necessary. And success isn't so bad either.
3. Be more confident: in my choices, actions, wants, and needs. Speak up more.
4. Be more carefree: Worry less. Don't sweat the small things.
5. Be better: a better friend, daughter, sister, teacher, student, and blogger.

What are your New Year's resolutions?

Until next post,
Jasmine