Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Good Kind of Change

So this is the post some of you have been waiting for you--the one in which I share my weight loss journey. I began this particular adventure officially on February 01, 2011, but I've been battling my weight for most of my life.

*First off I just need to say that I am losing weight because I want to--because I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, because I felt like I was in the wrong body. This is not to say that everybody needs to be thin to be beautiful. I was simply uncomfortable with myself and I needed to change it. One of the reasons why I first started this blog was to inspire girls that you can be chic in all body types, shapes, and sizes. I still stand by it: You really can be chic in whatever body type you have, but what I didn't have back then was confidence. Confidence really is the best accessory.

A Brief History:
Up until college,
I never was..."fat," just always a little chubby. Up until then, my parents would constantly nag me on my weight. The nagging got annoying and was just about the only conversations I had with my parents for a long time. I had tried so many times to lose weight before--diet pills, acupuncture, etc. They just didn't work, probably because I didn't want to lose weight then. Robert came along in my senior of high school and helped give back some of my confidence. He made me feel (and still does) beautiful even if I was chubby. Three years after high school, I graduated college with a B.A. in Psychology and Social Behavior, a skeleton of a relationship with my parents, and +40 pounds on my body.

Soon after my graduation, I was having melt downs in dressing rooms and while getting dressed in the mornings because clothes just didn't fit anymore. Blogging was such a hassle because we would take photos and I would delete them all because they were unflattering. I was really self-conscious and just wanted to hide in my room. All it took was one huge fight with my parents to bring me over the edge. I was just fed up with everything and something in me just...snapped. I knew I was getting in the way of myself, and I knew that I had to do something about it. So on February 1st, I stepped on the scale, crying, scared, but determined to never see the number that high ever again. Four months later, I'm now 20 pounds lighter than that first number. My relationship with my family has never been better. I feel unstoppable because losing weight, for such a long time, was the hardest thing for me to do. It took me a long time to realize that I was just stubborn; and that my parents did love me for me, but they just wanted the best version of myself--a healthy me. I was scared of change--scared of getting out of my comfort zone, which included victimization and self-pity. It's so easy to be a victim, and so hard to be a hero, especially when the true villain is yourself. As much as I didn't want to see it, I had to be my own hero in my own story, not my parents and not Robert. Sometimes success is more fearful then failure.

I have no tricks up my sleeve to share--just the traditional diet and exercise. I cut off all fatty foods--junk food, fast food, and etc. It was hard--no, really hard--not to cheat and sneak some chips or drive to McDonalds before work. That's why I think you really have to want it for it to work. The first month/10 pounds was probably the hardest. It's kinda like breaking in new shoes--they hurt at first but if you stick with them, they become comfortable; but instead of shoes, I was breaking in a new lifestyle. Gradually, I have mixed in foods I love, but I have learned to eat them in moderation and choose healthier alternatives. I have also grown a deep love and appreciation for fruits and veggies. For the first two months, I biked every morning for at least half an hour. Now I have joined a gym and now do the elliptical for an hour and some weights for 15-3o minutes. I also take fish oil pills every morning. My mom studied food science in college, and works at a lab that tests vitamins. She told me that something about fish oil absorbs fatty acids, so maybe that's been helping me along the way too.

A last bit of advice...
Comes from a dear friend of mine--Tieka, who has been a huge inspiration and support through this whole thing. She gave me some advice that has really helped me out a lot and it is: make every day count. I wrote about this before but if I stumble and eat something I wasn't supposed to, I don't beat myself over it; instead, I just make sure to make the rest of the day count. You should give into your cravings once in a while so you don't completely derail from your path, but in moderation. And...of course, don't give up. I had many weeks of no loss/no gain and a few weeks of gains, but I just told myself that I'll do better next week. I haven't given up, and don't plan on it. I'm taking it nice and slow because I want this to stick and because I want to do it in a healthy way. I'm only 1/3 of the way there after all.

I hope this has helped at least one person, because this has definitely been the most difficult, but best adventure of my life yet. Good luck and you can always email me your questions.

Until next post,

Sources of photos can be found via my Tumblr.


  1. this is so well written, jasmine.. thanks for sharing something so personal. i've struggled with my weight my entire life, and had the same conflicts with my parents, perceiving their criticism as attacks, rather than seeing it as their desire for me to be my healthiest self. things really came to head after i had my daughter, and was at my heaviest. i remember my mom telling me that i was bordering on being obese, and how much her saying that hurt my feelings at first. at the same time, though, it woke me up. what you said about looking at ourselves not as victims, but as heros, rings so true. i was definitely looking at myself as a victim up till that point - a victim of my genetic makeup and environment. when i pushed those thoughts aside and made up my mind that i'm a strong woman, i made the lifestyle changes that needed to be made in order to be healthier. i'm so proud of you, and continue to wish you well as you keep pushing forward with your goals! Xx

  2. This was a very inspirational & well written piece. Keep up the awesome work!!! and thank you so much for posting this!

  3. I know that I'm only a recent blogger and follower, but I've read all your posts and in all honestly the changes you've made in your life reflects in your photos. The way you stand, pose, and smile- Girl, you are glowing. And you've made real changes- not (I'm on a vegetable only, no gluten, no carbs, no sugar, no fat, nothing diet and a must exercise everyday or else I'll be taking a step back) You've made lifestyle changes which as you said will last your entire life. I hope everyone reads this and aspires to do the same (just as you have inspired me) Again, Jasmine you look awesome, and I thank you for sharing this.


  4. perfect post jasmine.
    i am so happy for you.
    as you know, i am on a little diet as well..most people would look at me and not think i was overweight but i felt horrible and sluggish in my body. i just want to feel healthy and happy. i was 155 when i started my diet and now i am 144 today and have lost 2 inches everywhere. so you and your weight lost has inspired me and i am so proud of you. :)
    i love ya..if you ever need to talk or anything i am here for ya sister.

  5. Thank you so much for sharing this Jasmine! You wrote beautifully about your weight-loss journey, and I'm so glad to read a post about weight-loss that doesn't bow down to socially constructed ideals of beauty (as you've so eloquently explained in your writing,) and I'm so happy that what you've gotten most of this experience is a sense of empowerment, and a sense of control over our your own life. I know that being physically active, that taking care of your body, and taking care of what you put in your body is important for a myriad of reasons, and at the same time, all of that is never incompatible with the important work of believing that all bodies are beautiful and capable and inspiring.

    I'm so proud of you and I'm so proud of the reasons for why you are doing what you are doing, and I'm proud of the far reaching consequences of what you are doing and how I know they will change you in a myriad of happy, wonderful ways (as they have already!)


  6. Jasmine, you are absolutely inspirational and I can tell you've been happier and more confident in your pictures. It SHOWS! And you're BEAUTIFUL! Thanks for sharing this with us. I love you a little more already!

  7. This was a very moving post to read and I can't wait to see you progress farther into your goal. It takes more than exercise and dieting to lose weight--it takes a strong will and confidence with overcoming a few meltdowns through the journey. And you have all of that. You can do it!! :))

  8. I'm so proud of you and your weight loss journey. You really do need to want something enough to strive for it and achieve it. You look even more beautiful in your photos than you did before because your confidence shines through. Now your confidence can come from within you than from others.

    Stay amazing and keep at it! <3

  9. I love you Jasmine:) I know this must've been a tough journey, and I'm so excited that all your hard has paid off and you're feeling better about yourself. Parents who nag really aren't doing any favors for their kids, no matter how much they want the best for them. My sister's story is pretty much the same as yours and it was heart breaking seeing her feel so alone. I'll have to point her to your story and hopefully it'll help:)

  10. Oh, Jasmine. I can relate so much to every bit of this post! I've been on a diet for a year and a half now and I still have the same struggles I did on day one. But yours and Tieka's advice is really great, and it's something I try to do as often as I can. If I screw up a meal, I don't have to screw up a day. Thank you so so much for sharing your story. I've been less than great on my diet lately, and reading this is so inspiring. I'm SO proud of you and happy for you, and I'm so glad your weight loss has helped with your relationships and helped you realize that you really are a hero and not a victim. You're the best! <3

  11. This is an amazing post Jasmine, I'm so proud of you for making it this far and continuing at it. You're an amazing spirit and I hope you seek all the happiness you can find in this crazy world. Keep on trooping m'dear <3 I love you soso much! Stay strong, and continue with the resilience!

  12. I feel like sending you a million virtual hugs and kisses right now. We all love and support you, Jasmine. So proud of you and what you've accomplished so far. Cheers. xx

  13. this is very inspiring!

  14. one important thing for sure is you have to be happy with yourself and losing weight is harder than people think. I love food and I been getting weight effortlessly. I'm trying to eat healthier, but its just so hard... lol when your a foodie like myself. Anyway I commend you on losing 20 lbs! :)

  15. Jasmine, this is such a beautiful and inspiring post. It's amazingly honest, and it really shows all the incredibly had work you've put into this. Congratulations on getting a third of the way there; I'm absolutely sure that you can make it all the way. Stay strong!

  16. I've always found your blog as a source of inspiration, and one of the many reasons I was hesitant to start blogging was feeling insecure about my weight. Your blog was one that showed me that you don't have to be the size of a runway model to be beautiful, fashionable, and inspiring. Thank you for posting something so personal, and congratulations on your amazing progress!

  17. So proud of you! You're always beautiful <3 I read Tieka's post on this too a while back, so inspiring and so is this one <3 keep it up lovely <3

  18. I'm so proud of you Jasmine! You're truly an inspiration to all your blog readers. To see you able to motivate yourself to lose weight inspires me to work towards a better me, not necessarily with losing weight but with things. And that make every day count thing is inspirational in itself; I feel like when I mess up in a day I beat myself over it and decide to slump for the rest of the day and instead plan to start over the next day, but I really ought to do as you do and just try to make the rest of the day count. Thanks for being such a great inspiration to all of us, and I'm so glad you're accomplishing your goals. Keep on going and don't give up, Jasmine!

  19. Thanks for posting this! It was really inspirational, because although I within a healthy weight for my height, I am also trying to lose a bit of weight and be healthier, since I currently have pretty bad eating, exercising, and sleeping habits. This really encouraged me to become more serious in my efforts to lead a healthier lifestyle :)

    So congrats on losing your first 20 pounds and accomplishing part of your goal (which I am absolutely sure you will be able to finish)!

    And although Ive been following your blog for a few months already, I never actually commented, so I'd just like to let you know that I think you have one of the cutest and best styles of anyone I've ever seen :D Love the way you coordinate your clothes!

  20. Thanks for sharing, Jasmine. I, too, have low self-esteem about my weight. I just weighed myself this morning and I hit a number that I thought I would never have hit again. I was really upset and I started jogging and going to the gym again this afternoon.

    The thing with me is that I'm temperamental. There was a period when I was really high on exercising. Then there was a period of where I made excuses NOT to go to the gym. I don't eat junk food, but I love carbs (oh Lord!) I consume a lot of ramen noodles, rice, you name it. I think my body can only handle so much before the carbs take control. And now, I'm feeling that my body is slowly giving away its control to carbs. I always love fruits and veggies, but that's not enough. I need to get my ass off to the gym and start exercising regularly. You're definitely an inspiration. 20 lbs is a lot of weight and you did it. It's only gonna get better from now on. Keep up the good work, Jasmine! :)

  21. Congrats on the first third!
    Sounds like you're well on your way :)

  22. Aw, this was so amazing to read Jasmine... and I'm so glad my 'three little words' helped to inspire you too. You are an inspiration to ME and I think you're so beautiful - inside and out. xo