Saturday, March 02, 2013

Adventure is out there

After ditching a Friday afternoon class and taking a two-hour long lunch with two friends instead, I got home itching to go to the beach. I was on my bed, five minutes into endlessly scrolling through Tumblr when I just thought to myself--why not? It was a beautiful 85 degree day and I couldn't think of any reasons not to, so I just did. By myself. And it was just what I needed. For an hour and a half, I was in my own little world--no students needing my help, no assignments to worry about, no papers to grade, no one to answer to. It was just little ole me. As soon as my toes touched the sand and my nose filled with the salty air, I could just feel my stress melt away as I got closer and closer to the water. I forgot how small the ocean makes me feel. I'm not even really sure what I thought about. I think my consciousness came in and out like the waves. I probably thought about what a whirlwind the past seven months have been. How everything is happening just like it's supposed to. That this definitely would not be the last beach trip I took by myself. That hopefully in the Fall I'm teaching somewhere where I'm still close to the beach. How my favorite outfit will always be a v-neck t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a hodgepodge of accessories.

And how perspective changes everything. And how some of mine really needed adjusting if I want to be happier. I especially need to break my horrible habit of measuring my self worth by comparing myself to other people and what they have or what they are doing. There will always be someone better than you. All you can really do is focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself. As much as I've embraced change that has come my way this year, I don't think I've actively taken it upon myself to change--to be better, to get back on my weight loss journey, to be less stubborn, to worry less, etc. It's so easy to ride on the high of change, but after a while, the change becomes the new normal. What then? I won't wait for another five year relationship to go awry as my opportunity and catalyst for change. I want to be better and for my own sake, I will be.

Until next post,


  1. That's amazing that you live so close to the beach and it serves an escape from reality for you and gives you a chance to think. I think I tried that at the beach at SF once, but it is so cold, foggy, and windy that all I could concentrate on was how icy cold it was, haha!

    I've been struggling with a similar problem, and you hit it right on the nose when you said about determining your self worth through comparisons to others, and how you simply have to work on becoming the best version of yourself you can be. You go Jasmine! And thanks for being an inspiration :)

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  3. this is PERFECT. i'm so proud of you (and us) but mostly of you. look how far you've gone! look where you'll be this fall! you are doing spectacular things and i hope on that beach you felt a bit of pride for everything you've done.

  4. I so agree - it's super difficult for me to not compare myself to others, especially now that everyone's in the throes of trying to apply to jobs/internships. When your best friend gets TWO internship offers within a week and no one's even called you back...anyway, I feel you. I love the idea of going to the beach alone and I wish it was warm enough in Boston to do that. Will definitely have to take a break by myself and gain some perspective! Thanks for the inspiring post. :]

  5. i love how easy your posts are but you are able to effortlessly insert your own deep thoughts in it without being too much. did that even make sense? hahaha! but i hope you get what i mine, jasmine!
    i wish i lived near the beach so i can actually have time to think more reflectively about my life and all. sometimes, you just need that break, eh? :)

    anyway, i hope you have and had a good weekend. might be going to LA this april. don't know all the details yet but if time and distance (as to where in LA i am staying) permits, i hope i can meet you. :D

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