Hello!
Don't you ever just want to post the pictures without providing commentary? I have been staring at this screen for half an hour now, debating whether I want to talk about how much work has gotten better; or how school sucks; or how ordinary my day was; or how my outfit put itself together subconsciously because I saw how lacking I was in (obvious) stripes and bows in my last outfit. Right now, I don't want to talk about any of that. Sometimes, I don't know the difference between a diary and my blog other than that my blog is public, which kind of defeats the purpose of it being a diary. I said in my last post that I am craving a change, but I just didn't know what it was. I still don't know what it is. I'm not really sure I have the time to give it some proper thought since work is on my mind from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. There are too many things going on in my life right now. Something or someone somehow is always neglected. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I really just want get away so I can sleep for days.
The other teachers at the school preschool are like me and also have two jobs. I just don't know how they do it since they also have kids. I think the reality of doing what you love may not be enough to live on has suddenly hit me. I knew going onto this career path that teachers were at the bottom of the salary pool, but I never knew it'd be that bad. Being rich isn't a huge goal of mine otherwise I would've tried harder in Biology, but I don't want to have to work two jobs for the rest of my life. On top of all this, I have been having problems at home and also realized that even with my two jobs, I cannot afford to move out, which only reaffirms the harsh reality of being a teacher. Albeit both of my jobs are part time, and Orange County is one of the most expensive places to live in, but neither detach from the possibility that I may have to work two jobs in the future. I am completely lost as to what to do. Ever since I started pursuing this career path recently, I haven't been able to find my footing and it's starting to scare me...
Don't you ever just want to post the pictures without providing commentary? I have been staring at this screen for half an hour now, debating whether I want to talk about how much work has gotten better; or how school sucks; or how ordinary my day was; or how my outfit put itself together subconsciously because I saw how lacking I was in (obvious) stripes and bows in my last outfit. Right now, I don't want to talk about any of that. Sometimes, I don't know the difference between a diary and my blog other than that my blog is public, which kind of defeats the purpose of it being a diary. I said in my last post that I am craving a change, but I just didn't know what it was. I still don't know what it is. I'm not really sure I have the time to give it some proper thought since work is on my mind from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. There are too many things going on in my life right now. Something or someone somehow is always neglected. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I really just want get away so I can sleep for days.
The other teachers at the school preschool are like me and also have two jobs. I just don't know how they do it since they also have kids. I think the reality of doing what you love may not be enough to live on has suddenly hit me. I knew going onto this career path that teachers were at the bottom of the salary pool, but I never knew it'd be that bad. Being rich isn't a huge goal of mine otherwise I would've tried harder in Biology, but I don't want to have to work two jobs for the rest of my life. On top of all this, I have been having problems at home and also realized that even with my two jobs, I cannot afford to move out, which only reaffirms the harsh reality of being a teacher. Albeit both of my jobs are part time, and Orange County is one of the most expensive places to live in, but neither detach from the possibility that I may have to work two jobs in the future. I am completely lost as to what to do. Ever since I started pursuing this career path recently, I haven't been able to find my footing and it's starting to scare me...
Until next post,
Jasmine
Jasmine
outfit: cardigan and striped top -- gap; skirt -- uo; tights -- f21; oxford flats -- aldo; belt -- zara; bow pin -- madewell
Oh, I definitely struggle with the blog/diary differentiation. On a more positive note, this is an amazing mix of patterns! Stripes and bows :) I love it <3 You look too adorable.
ReplyDeleteThe future is a terrifying aspect, but live in the present, it's a gift. It's tough now, trust me, I may be younger and naive and all that, but if you think about the future too much you end up drowning in the possibilities of "what ifs" and constantly doubting yourself. You need to find some time to relax though, sit down, have a giant cuppa tea and zone out into your own world. I've made this a daily ritual in the morning for 5 minutes. Makes a huge difference!
This combination of patterns are stunning!!! I love the colours too! Just have faith and always believe in yourself, you can achieve anything you set your mind too! Mwah xx
ReplyDeleteOh Jasmine, try not to worry too much I'm sure things will figure themselves out! Hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later though as I know how stressful it is to think about the future and be unsure. Although I'm still in university its recently hit me that I might not get to work in the film industry like I want to because to get on the ladder you have to start off working for free and can I really afford to do that? Argh, so many questions right?! Just try and spend a bit of time destressing though because we don't want you getting completely frazzled out. I love this outfit, the bows and stripes are lovely and I'm seriously lusting after your cardigan!
ReplyDeleteCould you get any cuter? I doubt it! This is one of my favorite outfits I have ever seen you wear! I love everything about it :) Hey, I meant to tell you, congrats about the feature on wikifashion the other day. I was so excited when I saw your name on the twitter status!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about what to write on your blog. Sometimes I sit infront of my screen for a good 45 minutes just staring like a zombie going "Well..I have to write something, I cant just post pictures of myself!" but seriously - sometimes it gets hard to think of what to write. And sometimes I feel constrained of what I can and cannot talk about..because HELLO - this is the world wide web and anyone and their dog can be reading what I write. Ah. Its a hard one. But to make you feel great I loved reading this post and I always love reading your posts Jasmine <3
Yikes, that is a lot of pressure to have, all the while you are also going to school. Is there a counselor you can talk to at school that can help steer you in the right direction? I hope everything gets clearer and better.
ReplyDeletePS You are looking totally cute in this outfit! I love the cardigan with the white and black.
This outfit is so perfect, it has to be one of my favorites of yours! I love how you mixed navy and black and the bow patterns with stripes-- perfectionn! :D
ReplyDeleteI want to leave half the spots I make blank, but somehow I manage to spit something out for them. :P Hopefully things will work themselves out for you.. if so many people are teachers, then there must be a reason. People wouldn't do it if the salary was that terrible, right?
sometimes i want to treat my blog like a diary and just spill my guts out. but then i realize that i can't since so many people that i know read it (especially now). that's why i have a second private blog where i do let it all out. :P
ReplyDeleteand jasmine, take a long, huge, deep breath and then breathe out. relax. :) the future may seem scary, and it might be, but just take it one step at a time. it's not about the destination but simply the journey. you're already working hard as it is so don't stress yourself out more! i'm pretty exhausted too and i've had a couple of breakdowns this week so you're not alone. reality may be harsh but it doesn't have to stay that way. stay strong :)
i sometimes dislike writing my commentary because i am so boring...so i have nothing to say and i know people could really care less..hahaha.
ReplyDeletebut i love reading yours.
i love the mixture of bows with stripes..you always mix everything so well. :)
xoox
You are just so adorable! Really love the skirt.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are going through a really tough time right now. :( I hope things start looking up for you. Figuring out what to do with your life/career can be so stressful.
love the print mixing Jasmine! I know what you mean! Sometimes I don't know what to write either on my outfit posts without sounding too repetitive. Try taking a little break from your blog. I did and it was really nice and motivated me to start blogging again. ^.^
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about being super stressed out with two jobs...right now I'm researching, grading papers/tutoring for a class, taking engineering courses full time, blogging, and doing a lot of local fashion/music stuff...and it's TOUGH...and the only thing that really pays much right now is the grader's job. I admire you for ultimately pursuing what you love rather than something that merely makes money. Have you thought about becoming a private tutor for elementary school kids? I think it might be up your alley and based on where you live, it's pretty populated with rich people that want their kids tutored... also I know some people have extra rooms in their house that they can rent out cheaply. Or, best that the family needs a tutor and has a place you can stay at?? Also, have you thought about moving some place where the living expenses are lower? ps. in texas you can get rent like $500 a month easily...and a really really nice apartment (own room/bathroom/etc) for $700. Just some things to consider...there's always tons of options!
ReplyDeleteHome problems...I can relate to that. I rarely talk to my own since we see differently on basically everything and I've never been close to them.
good luck! I blabbed wayyy too much. anyway you look suuuper cute with your bow+stripes outfit.
I'm loving this outfit, especially the stripes and bows.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about becoming a teacher and how the pay isn't great. I'm going to school to teach K-6 and I've been getting very discouraged as well. But things will get better with everything you have going on!
Good luck :)
http://andohsofancy.blogspot.com
Oh Jasmine, I just want to give you a big hug. This post is so relatable. Thinking about reality and the "repercussions" of following your dream can be really scary. But if you want to be a teacher, you are meant to be a teacher and you will be absolutely fine. It's funny. Sometimes I absolutely WISH that I had the desire to be a doctor or a lawyer because being interested in literature and teaching high school could mean a harder road monetarily for me in the future, but the thought of my life without my passions scares me much more than having to possibly struggle a bit. I'm sure the same goes for you with teaching.
ReplyDeleteYou are incredibly responsible, much more than many people your age, and you're such a hard worker. I know that you will be absolutely fine <3
And if it makes you feel any better, you look adorable in that outfit. I love that cardigan and your bow skirt is so cute :)
I'm sorry you're going through such a career dilemma! I'm sort of in a similar situation, debating between doing something I love or something that will support me financially. I can't honestly advise you in the right direction because I'd feel too hypocritical with whatever I say, but I will say perhaps you should look for a second job that's less mentally demanding. Like my job is just part-time, but it's really easygoing and relaxing and pretty chill. I hope you figure out what you want to do and everything goes the way you want it too! Sigh, why can't we have our cake and eat it too?
ReplyDeleteAnyways, onto your outfit: LOVE THE STRIPES AND BOWS. Bow print is genius, and this outfit screams JASMINE louder than anything else!
Jazzy, i love the skirt!!! super cute print!!!! i wonder how many skirts you own now? :)
ReplyDeleteOMG you are so cute! Love your outfits. :)
ReplyDeletelove,
-Kristin
kristindeleon.wordpress.com
Hi beauty, this post made me feel so proud of you for addressing this. Teachers don't get paid enough (and they aren't the only valuable people in our societies who are vastly underpaid,) and it causes a total brain drain of smart, wonderful people like you who rightly and justly realize at some point: wait a second, I'm exhausted and stressed and broke and I'm not sure I can do it anymore! I really feel for teachers.. and I feel for you too! It can't be easy to juggle all that you do and still take slamming outfit posts :) My dad was a teacher for a few years and it was hard on him. I had a friend who used to throw up every morning before reporting to work and he ended up having to quit Teach for America in his second year... I know that you'll find the right place and the right road for you, as cheesy as that sounds.
ReplyDeletelove,
Jenny
oh dear.. don't fret.. im on the same boat as you when it comes to decisions in life, career, moving out and what i want to achieve as my end goal.. aaahhh... being an adult is such a stress, but keep motivated and stay focused. everything will work out as it should be and as it is planned for each of us. keep optimistic and just do you best in whatever you decide to do. if you need anything, do know that im here.. :)
ReplyDeleteAnimated Confessions
Pattern-mixing at its best. (:
ReplyDeletePS
Sorry I wasn't able to comment here in "real time"; I would've loved to be one of those who calmed you down a bit and encouraged you to continue on. Ahh I've missed your blog so much!
*continues to catch up with your posts*