Live While We're Young

 

I can't believe graduation is less than a month away now! Starting this program last June didn't feel like too long ago, and now I'm practically done! This past year has tested me for sure, but I've grown so much from it all. Now that I'm nearing the end, everything is suddenly becoming so bittersweet and sentimental. Since I don't really know where I'll be in the Fall (which by the way is scary and exciting at the same time), everything is becoming a "what could be the last time in a while." My thoughts of my future float from opposite extremes: one moment I cannot wait to be on my own--to have my own place, my own classroom, and my own life; but the next moment I don't want to leave the safety of this life I've created. At this point though, I'm really just focused on finishing this year as strongly as I began it--with the same zeal and motivation. It's been hard to push through my fatigue recently as I've been feeling burnt out from the rigor of this program, but I definitely want to make the most out of the last few weeks of my student teaching experience.

This outfit was taken during my trip to San Diego a while ago, which just goes to show you how busy I've been! It's a good depiction of my weekend uniform though--relaxed top, skinny jeans, sandals, and minimal jewelry. Oh wait, that's been me everyday! I'm itching to wear skirts and dresses, especially when it was 90+ degrees out, but when I'm teaching, I have enough things to worry about without a wardrobe malfunction being one of them, so those skirts and dresses will just have to wait a little while longer. 

Until next post,
Jasmine

top - forever 21

jeans - gap

sandals - target

necklace - brandy melville

rings - brandy melville, irene's story

watch - nordstrom

bracelet - fashion love

photos by amy

Growing Pains

Over the weekend, I kickstarted my mini-spring break by having a picnic with quite possibly my oldest friend, Tina. We've known each other since first grade, and I'm so glad we reconnected at a Christmas party in December. While nibbling on cheese, crackers, and pepperoni, and sipping on tea, we reminisced of simpler times when I was apparently fearless and would ask boys if they liked me via notes with checkboxes. Now our lives consist of figuring out who we are, what we want to do, and where we want to go. It just seems like a lot of people my age, myself included, are experiencing the quarter-life crisis right now. At 23, we're just in this weird, awkward transition where we're not financially able to be independent but we want to be; or we're getting restless of where we are and want to move onto bigger and better things. And somehow between now and 30, we should have a career in the making, be married, and maybe have a kid on the way. Some friends are closer to reaching these expectations than others. While I'm anxious to start my non-student life, I also want time to slow down a bit so I can enjoy being young and having the sky as my limit. Now that I'm approaching my graduation day, the golden question lately has been where I'm going to apply for jobs--am I going to stay in Southern California, or am I willing to uproot and experience a new place? Realistically, I have to go wherever the jobs are, but also, I want to enjoy the feeling that I can go wherever with nothing really tying me down. I'm going to apply for jobs all over California and will just have to see where life wants to take me.

Until next post,

Jasmine

denim jacket - gap

top - forever 21

jeans - gap

sandals - target

necklace - brandy melville

sunglasses - raybans

photos by tina

Brighter Days

I wore this outfit on Easter Sunday, and even though it wasn't the most festive outfit, I still liked it. A comfy tee, skinny jeans, minimal jewelry, and sandals were perfect for a sunny stroll at the lake with my friend, Andrea. I was supposed to post this sometime last week, but I never got around to it because it was the hardest and longest week of this program so far! It was the first week of my new placement in a first grade classroom. I didn't think moving down two grade levels would make much of a difference, but let me tell you, it's a whole different world! These first graders are so energetic that I was just so drained physically and emotionally my first week. I miss my third graders. They were my first class and I will never, ever forget them, but I am really trying to make the most out of this experience. I can already see a difference in my abilities and confidence from my first day of my first student teaching placement to my first day at this placement. This week is my students' spring break so I can rest up a bit before resuming student teaching full time. I still have classes though so I'm not completely free, but I'm going to make the most of it. I am determined to purge my closet and to get to the gym at least three times. Summer's quickly approaching and for once, I would like to enjoy going to the beach and pool without feeling self conscious about my body. My friends and I are also planning to go on a trip shortly after my graduation so that's going to be another motivation to get more active and to finish the final stretch of my program.

Until next post,
Jasmine

jacket - gap

t-shirt - stylemint

watch - nordstrom

bracelets - forever 21 and jewelmint

jeans - gap

sandals - target

purse - marc by marc jacobs

photos by andrea

Inventing Shadows

The marathon of all paper writing is finally over. I turned in my monstrous 100-paged, single-spaced paper and 15-minute video on Thursday, and enjoyed what was left of my spring break with (a little too much) retail therapy, movies, and Netflix. I updated my closet with some Spring things like this breezy, bright coral top. My patience paid off and I got these polka dot printed jeans for $25 at Gap! Even though I spent more than I had wanted to, I love everything I hauled recently and I know that I'm going to get a lot of use out of them. I've also been pretty good about cycling through my old clothes. If you had told me a year ago that I would be wearing polka dot jeans, I would have laughed in your face. The next type of denim on my list? Floral printed jeans! My style has changed quite a bit since last year so I'm going to clean out my closet pretty soon. I also bought a top for upcoming job interviews. I can't believe it's that time already where I'm practically done with my graduate program and I'm going to be job hunting.

I wore this outfit to brunch with friends on Saturday, and I'm most likely going to wear it again for fieldwork this week. During brunch, I picked up my old habit of comparing myself to others and what they have. It's hard still being in school and being in a different phase of life than your friends who all have full time jobs. It's weird though, because when I'm not thinking of other people, I'm not bothered by my employment status, rather I'm happy and even proud of where I'm at. The grass always seems greener on the other side, but when I really think about it, I like my side just fine. I just have to keep reminding myself that I truly love what I do and my life right now, and that this poor grad student lifestyle won't last for much longer. Today, I'm starting my new placement with my first grade class. As excited as I am, I can't help but continue to miss my third graders, but at least I can still visit them from time to time.

Until next post,

Jasmine

top - mango

jeans - gap

watch - jewelmint

shoes - reflection

necklace - bcbg via macy's

photos by andrea

Changes Coming to TW

I said in my last post that I've been rethinking the content of my blog, and all this rethinking has made me excited about blogging again! I'm still going to have the regular outfit posts, but wearing pretty things is not all there is to me and my life. I mentioned that I might want to incorporate teaching, writing, and photography into my blog, and I mean to do that. I'm going to start two weekly series, and a monthly one.

Photo Fridays: This is going to be the first one I start, hopefully this week! I remember one of the reasons I started this blog was to improve my photography skills, and for the first year of my blog, I took all my photos by myself. Then when Robert started taking my pictures for me, I spent more time in front of the camera when often times I prefer to be behind it. So now that he's leaving soon, I'll get a chance to do both. Remember the days when I wanted to pursue a career in photography and did wedding gigs for a while? While my career path has changed, my interest in and love for photography have not. Besides what's the point in having a DSLR if you're just going to use it to capture your outfits? I am so lucky to live in gorgeous Southern California. It's time that I start capturing its beauty once again.

Teaching Tuesdays: This is one I wish I had started earlier. It would've been nice to look back to see past mistakes, experiences, and lessons learned since I started working with kids, but I'm really excited to start this one when I begin my fieldwork and student teaching in the Fall. Until then, I think I'll write a post to wrap up my experience working in after-school programs for the past two years, and maybe about some things I'll learn in my Summer classes.

Monthly Fun Money: Tomorrow is my last day at my current job, and so starting next month I'll be sticking to a monthly budget of $50. I call this my "fun money" because it can be used on just about anything I want: clothes, movies, books, going out, etc. This is going to be hard for me since I'm used to shopping and being able to buy things and do things I like, but I'm kind of excited for this. This is going to be good for me. No more impulse shopping for me! I'll be keeping tabs on this allocated money every month and recapping it here. I'm allowing unused money to be rolled over to the next, but I cannot get an advance from future months. I'm going to be the cliche poor grad student, and I'm super determined to stick to this budget.

I had so many other ideas, but for now, I just want to stick to these three before I take on anymore. The weekly series may become biweekly if grad school really is as rigorous as people made it out to be, but I hope that you're all excited about these changes coming to Transient Withdrawal as I am. I started this blog to be my little escape from reality (hence the name); but slowly, this blog has become a huge part of my real life, and so I want my real life to be a huge part of my blog. My priorities and interests are shifting, and I feel like my blog should shift with them. A big reason why I wanted to be single was so I can find and love myself again, and I just know that in doing the things I love will help me be...well, me! 

Until next post,
Jasmine

picture source

The Way Things Are

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for the positive response on my last post in which I was honest with how I feel about blogging and life lately. I was a little nervous how people would react to it because it's such a touchy subject, but thankfully, most people seemed to be in agreement with me. At first I thought I was a little too harsh, but just as people are free to blog what they want, I wanted to express my opinion on the changes I've noticed around the blogosphere. But I don't foresee myself quitting my blog anytime soon, especially since I'm kind of anxious to see if or how my style will change over the course of graduate school and student teaching (and my unemployment). I am rethinking of the content of my blog though. Besides my outfits, teaching, writing, and photography are other ways I am able to express creativity. I think I might want to add some new things, maybe about teaching, budgeting, and other things about my life besides what I wear.

I said in my last post that I didn't want to force the creativity anymore and that I wanted to be a little more real. Well this outfit isn't all that creative, but it's truly something that I loved wearing. I put it together it effortlessly. If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you would've known that I recently splurged on three pairs of shoes, completely on impulse (never again!). I mulled them overnight and the next day I returned two pairs but kept this black pair. I need them for my future days as a student teacher. If you've followed my blog for a while, you'd know I hardly wear black, but these are so comfortable and they just go with everything.

Hope everyone had a good Father's Day weekend!

Until next post,
Jasmine

cardigan - gap

top - urban outfitters

skirt - urban outfitters

shoes - aldo

belt - gap

watch - nordstroms

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

At work, I always tell the kids that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it all; and I've tried to follow that as much as I can as an adult. So when I first heard of Get Off My Internets, I was angry that there would be a website where people write hateful things about bloggers, some of whom are my friends. But as of late, I've been spending a little more time than I'd like to admit on that site reading the forums and I also hate to admit it, but I actually agree with a lot of what they say there. I think one of the reasons I just haven't been motivated to blog as passionately as I once did is because of how much blogging has changed since I started in 2009. Clicking on an affiliate link to a product via a blogger's tweet recently made me feel a little used as a follower, and all the more compelled to write this post that has been haunting my mind.

Almost two years ago, Chictopia invited me to speak at their conference about social media and a little about the blogger-business relationship. I still stand by what I said that day that the blogger-business relationship should be transparent, fair, and honest. However, I feel that sponsorships have become even more apparent on blogs since then, and that the shift in purpose of blogs has shifted from expressing creativity to getting free things. The fantasies of fame and glamor have created so many formulaic bloggers who lack real originality and personality. I can find countless girls wearing a floral dress with doc martens; girls wearing an oversized sweater with cut off denim shorts; etc. while scrolling through my Tumblr dashboard. Who were once relatable, genuine girls trying to find their personal style within their closets and budgets are now basically live mannequins for companies. Free stuff is always nice, but is it still "free" when it's at the expense of your originality and personality? It just wasn't, and still isn't, worth it to me. I'm not saying that I'm overflowing with originality and creativity, because what's so hard about putting a striped top with a skirt? All I'm saying is that I think we need to go back to our roots and the real reason why we started blogging. What happened to that loving community that fostered friendships, creativity, and personal style? I feel like almost every comment, tweet, and blog post have become PR attempts to build relationships with companies rather than with fellow bloggers and their readers. I have honestly made the best friends from blogging who I wouldn't trade for anything and who have thankfully remained true to themselves through all of this, and I will be forever grateful for all the opportunities I received through blogging. I just hope that other people can still find friendships and equal opportunities even among all the greed that has littered the blogging world.

GOMI also criticized bloggers for not being real on their blogs, and I admit to putting up a happy facade, but let's be real for a little while. From throwing up on the flight to last year's NYFW to creepy men starting conversations with me while I take self portraits, I think I just might have the most un-glamarous blogging life. For me, most mornings of getting dressed on "picture days" are neither effortless nor are they fun. Sometimes they result in a cute outfit and then a blog post; sometimes they result in mini-breakdowns over hating my closet and my body; and sometimes, probably the worst of all, they result in an impulsive need to buy something new. That last one is something I'm getting better at--dressing for me and not for my blog. I know it's stupid and ignorant of me to have breakdowns over having too many non-cute clothes, but it happens and that's something I've been working on too (especially now that I'm going to be unemployed soon, I have to love every single thing in my closet). Honestly, I think if I didn't have my blog anymore, I'd probably just live in basic t-shirts with a skirt, shorts, or jeans; and on non-picture days, I do. But that's the great thing about having this blog right? It pushes me to be creative with my closet, but sometimes, I worry that the creativity is too forced and not genuine. At the same time, I think I have to stop worrying about creating and just start being...myself.

I'm currently on the cusp of a new chapter of my life. I'm excited, and I'm terrified. I'm scared that maybe I'm not all that great with kids as I thought I was. I'm scared that since the classroom setting is so different from the daycare setting, I might not even like teaching. Now that I'm single and Robert's leaving for Hawaii soon, I'm scared that we made the wrong choice and that I'm going to be forever alone. I'm scared of not finding a job when I graduate. Sometimes I think I'm scared more of success than I am of failure. I'm also scared of spiders and clowns, if you didn't already know. At the same time, I'm excited to meet new people who I can talk to about teaching and kids. I'm excited to learn about a subject that I'm interested in and that I can apply to my life for once. I'm excited to being on the last chapter of being a student, and to beginning a career.

All these feelings, coupled with the fact that sometimes I feel like my blog has outlived its purpose since I have found my own style, have made me want to quit blogging altogether. And I think if the blogging world continues towards this direction, I just might one day soon. Until that day comes though, I mean to stick to my New Year's Blogging Resolution of not forcing the posts/outfits but to let them come naturally. I'm going to try to be a little more real too if I didn't scare you off already.

Until next post,
Jasmine

picture sources: 1 / 2

Sheer Joy

I've been feeling a little down, so on Friday, Robert and I made a quick getaway to the beach before I had to go to work. It was hot that day, which explains why I refused to wear a cami underneath my new shirt--but at the beach, anything goes (don't worry I didn't show up to work wearing this)! I'm not usually a pink person, but I just couldn't resist how cheery and breezy this top is. It was so easy to style too! Before the paychecks stop coming in next Thursday, I've been frantically trying to make my closet a little more "grad-student-like," whatever that means. I don't know why I have it in my head that "grad school style" is different from any other style, but I do. I think it's because during orientation, I was the only one in some cutesy print (I wore my hot air balloon print skirt), while practically every one else was more formal. I think also it's a combination of being mistaken for a middle school student while I was doing field work, and the fact that I do look so young, that I feel the need to make up for it in how I dress (because I really can't/don't want to change my face). I do know though that once I start student teaching, I will have to look a little more put together than usual. I'm kind of anxious to see how my style is going to change over the course of the next 15 months of my program. I am excited though to finally get to wear some things in my closet that I wasn't able to wear to work, especially sandals. If you can't tell from these pictures, I have a really bad flats tan.

Don't forget to enter my Shabby Apple Giveaway!

Until next post,

Jasmine

top - forever 21

skirt - cotton on

belt - forever 21 (from jen)

sunglasses - raybans

watch - nordstroms

Shabby Apple Giveaway

It's been pretty quiet around my corner of the Internet, but I'm just having one of those weeks where I'm hating everything in my closet. Thankfully until I get my act together, I have a giveaway for all of my wonderful readers! Shabby Apple is offering one of you a $50 gift card!

To enter giveaway, you must:
1. Leave your name and email address.
2. Like Shabby Apple on Facebook.
3. Be a Google follower of my blog.
4. Tell me your favorite Summer drink.

Extra entry (leave a separate comment for it):
1. Follow me on Twitter.

This giveaway will end Thursday, June 14th at 11:59 PM PST. Good luck! The winner will be drawn at random and will be notified via email.

Until next post,
Jasmine

Hot Air Balloon

I found this hot air balloon print skirt at Macy's of all places. I don't usually shop at department stores. They just have too much stuff that I don't usually like, which is why I've stopped shopping at Forever 21 too. It just takes too long to find something that I actually like, is of decent quality, and at a decent price. But I went shopping with some friends and one of them had some Macy's coupons. I circled the racks a couple times before I came upon this gem. I knew before I brought it to the fitting room that I'd love it and want to bring it home. Since my grad school schedule is going to be pretty hectic, I'll be unemployed once the school year ends at my workplace in less than a month. This has made me even more frugal, and so at $29 (with a coupon), at first I decided to leave this skirt behind. But while we walked through other stores, I couldn't find anything else and I kept thinking about this skirt. In the end, I obviously caved and got it. The print is just too cute and unique not to have in my closet. I'm still on the fence about it so I took it out for a quick little test run out to a quick lunch. So keep or return?

I must admit, knowing that I'll be unemployed for at least the 15 months of my program scares me, a lot. I'm used to working and have been since high school. I'm curious though how my style is going to change from it since I'm also used to being able to buy new clothes regularly. Before the paychecks stop coming in though, I need to find some appropriate student teaching clothes. After being mistaken for a middle school student during one of my recent field work assignments, I want to ensure that doesn't happen again. I'm not sure this hot balloon print skirt is helping my case though.

PS. Can you believe this gorgeous field and hiking trail is only a 5 to 10 minute drive from my place? This will definitely be a frequent place for self portraits in the future. It was pretty deserted so hopefully I won't have anymore run-ins with creepers.

Until next post,
Jasmine

top - urban outfitters

skirt - american rag (via macy's)

shoes - swedish hasbeens x h&m

necklace - brandy melville

ring - jewelmint