Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Good To Be Alive

I'm pretty sure my friends and you are sick of seeing me in this denim jacket, but I can't help that it goes with everything! I can't help that it was also the perfect outerwear for Sunday's trip to Disneyland. My friend, Andrea, and I found this Wilderness Explorer Park that reminded me of Central Park in the bustling city of New York, because in the midst of all the craziness of Disneyland, you can come here for some peace and quiet. And if I'm lucky, someday I'll get to meet Russell from UP! It's on my Disneyland Bucket List to get a picture with him. While taking these pictures for me, my friend Andrea commented at how confident I seemed while having my pictures taken. This idea of having confidence, and enough of it where it's noticeable, is new to me, and I've been wondering since Sunday if I actually really have it or if I've just become comfortable in front of a camera after blogging for 3+ years. It's probably a little bit of both. Over the weekend, I remembered just how great my life is, and it wasn't just because I was at Disneyland, but it was also because I have so much to look forward to. Because I'm normally a half-empty kinda girl, it's so easy, especially when I'm stressed, to look past the good things that are happening and focus only on the work to be done or the things that aren't happening or should be happening. On Friday, I received the details of my next student teaching placement that begins in April. I'll be at the same school, but I'll be in a first grade classroom! I'm so excited because that means I can still see my third graders and because I love the school I'm at. Friday was also my last official day with my third graders, but I'm going in an extra week because I adore them so much. They surprised me with this huge gift basket, where they donated supplies for my future classroom. I am seriously so blessed. As crazy as this year has been, it has easily been the best year of my life! It's crazy that graduation is in 50-something days.

Life is only just beginning.

Until next post,

jacket - gap
jeans - gap
shirt - nordstrom
shoes - reflection
necklaces - forever 21
watch - jewelment

photos by andrea

Monday, March 11, 2013

The Best Studying Outfit

This sweater has been my best friend all throughout Winter Quarter. When I felt yucky and didn't want to wear nice clothes, it was there for me. When I ate too much the day before, it was there for me. It is the perfect amount of coziness and slouchiness without being too thick and loose that it could've suffocated or drowned me. It has become especially handy at keeping me company as I'm finishing up this quarter and my Teaching Event project. I've worn this outfit to fieldwork, to class, to many study sessions, and recently to grabbing dinner and shopping with a friend on Friday night. Even though I felt like I was constantly running late yesterday with the time change, when it finally got to 6PM and it was still bright out, I remembered just how much I adore this time of year! I love getting off of class/work and feeling that there's still time to play, and wanting to squeeze out the last bit of sunshine. Spring is pretty much here, and I'm sure you'll be glad to hear this--but I'm finally wearing dresses and skirts (aka looking like a girl) again! I broke my jean binge over the weekend when I celebrated my fieldwork partner's 25th birthday at her tea party. While I'm still not quite sure what my style is, I'm starting to have fun with clothes again, and in turn, I've been more excited to blog. I don't even think I want to ever get to a point where I or my style can be labeled. I never took fashion seriously so why should I start now?

Until next post,
denim jacket - gap
sweater - forever 21
jeans - gap
shoes - aldo
watch - jewelmint
necklace - bcbg

Saturday, March 02, 2013

Adventure is out there

After ditching a Friday afternoon class and taking a two-hour long lunch with two friends instead, I got home itching to go to the beach. I was on my bed, five minutes into endlessly scrolling through Tumblr when I just thought to myself--why not? It was a beautiful 85 degree day and I couldn't think of any reasons not to, so I just did. By myself. And it was just what I needed. For an hour and a half, I was in my own little world--no students needing my help, no assignments to worry about, no papers to grade, no one to answer to. It was just little ole me. As soon as my toes touched the sand and my nose filled with the salty air, I could just feel my stress melt away as I got closer and closer to the water. I forgot how small the ocean makes me feel. I'm not even really sure what I thought about. I think my consciousness came in and out like the waves. I probably thought about what a whirlwind the past seven months have been. How everything is happening just like it's supposed to. That this definitely would not be the last beach trip I took by myself. That hopefully in the Fall I'm teaching somewhere where I'm still close to the beach. How my favorite outfit will always be a v-neck t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a hodgepodge of accessories.

And how perspective changes everything. And how some of mine really needed adjusting if I want to be happier. I especially need to break my horrible habit of measuring my self worth by comparing myself to other people and what they have or what they are doing. There will always be someone better than you. All you can really do is focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself. As much as I've embraced change that has come my way this year, I don't think I've actively taken it upon myself to change--to be better, to get back on my weight loss journey, to be less stubborn, to worry less, etc. It's so easy to ride on the high of change, but after a while, the change becomes the new normal. What then? I won't wait for another five year relationship to go awry as my opportunity and catalyst for change. I want to be better and for my own sake, I will be.

Until next post,